Hello everyone, sorry for the delay this week. I wanted to ignore the blog completely this week but I decided to post because ronkeslens is a part of me. I don’t want to take this blog for granted because it has brought me a sense of fulfilment that I didn’t have before. As I type right now, I’m in one of those moods that I’m just angry for no reason. I don’t know if this is as a result of the weird phase I’m currently experiencing or the unbearable cramps I’m feeling as a result of my period. We ladies do have it really hard with this monthly period ( rant for another day).
One thing I’m beginning to understand as a lifestyle blogger is the concept of authenticity. Just be yourself is the only thing I can say. My reason for refusing to post sooner is cause I’m going through imposter syndrome at life. I just feel like I’m not good enough at anything and it is affecting my productivity in all areas unfortunately. I’m sorry dear readers but you have to experience the non glamorous side of my life too. Sadly it takes up about 65% . whenever I go through a similar phase to the one I am faced with right now, my coping mechanism is to shut everyone and thing out completely. I cancelled all my commitments the past weekend so I can dwell in my solitude. In a protest to feed mr solitude, I didn’t even watch any tv series or my regular YouTubers. I also didn’t read any novels or my work on my thesis.
So it was just me and my thoughts and sleep. Although, I managed to watch a movie on Netflix titled Furie (it is just another version of taken in my opinion, good movie nonetheless). I needed to catch up on sleep anyway.
I’m sure everyone has some experienced weird phases at different point of their lives. I’m currently experiencing one of those. I’m struggling to find the words to explain how I’m feeling but to summarise , I’ll simply say it is like I’m not enough. If we were awarded score cards in life, I’ll probably
be given a pass. I know I’m not giving 100 percent to anything right now because my mind isn’t just ready to commit to anything fully. It is like I have programmed my mind to not get overly excited for anything with fear that it might be taken away from me. Anyway this post is just to say, if I was a type of food, I’ll be a bland chicken right now. No seasoning whatsoever!
Good news is, the weather this weekend is promising and I have a friend from the United States in my city. I hope she’s able to get me out this funk. Does anyone go through weird phases like this? How do you deal with it?
See you all next week, hopefully you meet cheerful Ronke then.
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